What a weekend

          Wow. Simply wow. What a weekend in the NFL. Easily one of the best weekends of football I have watched in a long time. All four losing teams scored at least 28 points, and in the game that was the least competitive we saw Colin Kaepernick break a single game record. It was both heartbreaking and triumphant. Extreme emotions flowed from both ends of the spectrum, depending on which team had your support on the day. But if we look at the games simply as a spectator it was an incredible weekend to be a football fan.       

          I personally had my heart ripped out of my chest with the mind blowing shocker in the mile-high city. I am unashamed in my support of Peyton Manning. I firmly believe he’s the greatest quarterback of all time, but I will also admit that there are plenty of very reasonable arguments for other signal callers (especially that super model’s husband in New England). I was devastated to see Manning do everything he needed to win the game, only to have it ripped from his hands by what could be called the WORST play by a safety in recent memory. I also firmly believe that John Fox blew the game by being the most conservative coach EVER. He decided to run the ball three straight times to try and milk the clock for every second and to leave the Ravens with as little time as possible. That is absolutely the correct strategy if Jake Delhomme is your quarterback. But let me do you a favor Fox, and introduce you to PEYTON MANNING. You know, the bionic man who led your team to 11 straight wins, holds innumerable records and is quite possibly the man with the highest football IQ the game has ever seen. But no, good old John Fox put away his man parts in the fourth quarter and made the cardinal sin in the NFL. He played to not lose the game. Allow me to quote Mr. Herm Edwards, who once said so convincingly that “You play to win the game.” Fox apparently missed that day in NFL coaching class, and instead left it up to Flacco to not come up big. Turns out Flacco has a rocket launcher for an arm and Jacoby Jones can run kinda fast. Then John freaking Fox decides that 30+ seconds and two timeouts and Manning at quarterback isn’t enough time to try anything, so he takes a knee. The expletives that flew from my mouth at that moment were enough to make a sailor blush. I’ll paraphrase by saying that Fox has the same genitalia as a Ken doll. Yes my hero Manning did throw the game away in OT with that bonehead interception, and ultimately I guess you can blame the loss on him. But if you did blame him, you’d be wrong.

Flacco's miracle heave (Sorry, best quality I could find)

          The Patriots won, despite losing the little engine that could Woodhead and the “Half man half hulk” who seems to have hit the next level of the evolutionary chain, known to most simply as Gronk. Any of this sound familiar to anybody? Because it should. The boys from the North do this all the damn time. It’s sickening, but admirable. They just win, and as the lovably loquacious Billy Belichick always says… wait he never has anything to say. This section is short because there’s nothing unique to say about this game. It’s January, in the NFL playoffs, Tom Brady and the Pats won. In other news the sky is blue and the sun rose today.

This one is for the ladies

          The Atlanta Falcons, the number one seed that nobody thought was any good. All we heard all week was the team that tied for the best record in the NFL had no chance. Matt Ryan was a choke artist and the Falcons never show up in the playoffs. I’ve got news for you, that’s not true anymore. Ryan jumped all over Seattle, giving his team a 20-point lead early in the game. Then, as if it was scripted for Hollywood, the Seahawks charged back led by the rookie quarterback who was “too small to be a pro.” But the Boston College product known to Atlanta faithful as Matty Ice put that Hollywood finish on hold, surprising the shit out of everyone by driving his team into field goal range in the blink of an eye and watched as Matt Bryant silenced all of the Atlanta critics… for now.

Falcons got a nice cold glass of Matty Ice

          Then we have the 49ers. What an interesting story, Alex Smith leads the team to the conference finals last year, and was in the top five in the NFL in QBR until a little bump on his head changed everything. A young man named Colin Kaepernick ripped Smith’s job away in about 4.43 seconds, which happens to be Kaepernick’s 40 yard dash time. But what would the second-year pro do in his first playoff game? He’d probably fold under the pressure of the big stage, right? Wrong. He ran for an astonishing 181 yards, an NFL single game record for a quarterback, and discount double checked Aaron Rodgers and the Packers all the way back to Green Bay. Can Kaep keep this show rolling? Only time will tell.

Yes it's corny, but oh so true

          I guess I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the Ravens, who hung around long enough in Denver to pull out a miraculous win. Led by the future hall of famer Ray Lewis, who is on his farewell tour, the Ravens have found a way to win. On the football field it is undeniable that Lewis is an emotional leader, and maybe the greatest middle linebacker in NFL history. Off the field is another story, but I’ll leave that topic untouched. Joe Flacco has been one of the most criticized quarterbacks in the NFL for a while now, because he “doesn’t win big games.” However, Flacco is the only NFL quarterback to win a playoff game in his first five seasons. The sound of critics being silenced was apparent on Saturday, as Flacco made throw after throw, hitting Torrey Smith on repeated deep throws and of course the absolute bomb to Jacoby Jones to tie the game with only a few ticks on the clock. Then Flacco and the Ravens took advantage of Manning’s mistake in OT to win the game on a field goal. All allegiances aside, it was an impressive performance and Flacco deserves a lot of credit for the win.

Apparently this is what "shit luck" looks like

          Sitting here with my fingers on the keyboard I can still feel every up and down of the emotional roller coaster that these games took me on. I can only hope that anyone reading this had half of the emotional excitement that I did watching these games, because it’s my opinion that sports have the ability to make someone forget about the world we live in. From kickoff to the final whistle, it can take your mind off of all the trials and tribulations this crazy ass world puts us through, and I believe that’s pretty special.

Week 5: The highs and lows of another week in the NFL

          

          First thing's first, what the hell Panthers. Cam is 6'5", 260 pounds and we run a bootleg pass on fourth and goal? Williams got stuffed earlier in the series, but we have a solid goal line back in Stewart and the human bowling ball Tolbert who we signed specifically to be a big goal line threat. Yet we run a bootleg on fourth and goal? Hell it almost worked, except Cam tossed a knuckle ball that fell five yards in front of his intended receiver. Overall it was an abysmal performance by the offense anyway. Cam was under 50% completions and under 150 yards through the air, and our entire team had a measly 82 rushing yards. Cam forced the ball to Steve Smith way too much and seemingly forgot about Greg Olsen until it was too late. If not for an interception return by Captain Munnerlyn the Panthers would have gone the entire day without scoring a touchdown. Unacceptable from a team with an offense as high powered as ours.

Wonder how this convo went after Luck beat him...

          How about Andrew Luck? Leading a game-winning drive against the Packers while throwing for 362 yards to earn his second NFL win. And who watched that barn burner between the Chiefs and the Ravens? A total of 15 points scored in the game put it on the excitement scale somewhere between going to the dentist and watching paint dry. If Flacco wants to be an elite quarterback maybe he should try to make his games interesting enough to keep the audience awake. Michael Vick still hasn't realized that turning the ball over isn't the strategy to win games. In the words of the infamous coach Dennis Green, the Cardinals "are who we thought they were," and that is not a great team. The Browns are still terrible, the Bears defense is still great, the Falcons are still winning and the Saints finally got off the winless train.

Now for 5 key things from the NFL weekend you should know:

1. Drew Brees broke a record that was about 50 years old this weekend when he threw a touchdown in his 48th straight game. He did so against his former team, the San Diego Chargers, which must have been pretty sweet considering they dumped him in favor of cry baby Phillip Rivers. No matter who it was against, this was a great accomplishment and Brees adds another record to a career that seems like it will end with a bust in Canton.

2. In a head-to-head matchup featuring the two greatest quarterbacks of our generation, and possibly two of the greatest ever to play the position, Tom Brady and the Patriots beat Peyton Manning and the Broncos 31-21 on Sunday. The matchup just doesn't feel the same without Manning wearing a horseshoe on his helmet. Manning may have needed a lucky horseshoe on Sunday, considering he is now just 4-9 against Brady and the Pats.

3.While the 49ers may not be undefeated, they are still one of the teams to beat in the NFL. Their offense gained 621 yards in the 45-3 thrashing of the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, showing that San Francisco isn't just a defensive team. The 49ers became the first team to have 300 yards rushing and 300 yards passing in the same game, which means that defensive coordinators are now having nightmares about how to stop this team's balanced attack.

4. You never, EVER cheer for an injury. But that's exactly what happened in Kansas City when Matt Cassel went down with a concussion. Ok, so maybe Cassel sucks, but damn people he's still a human being. Anyone who would actually cheer for an injury should be ashamed of themselves and reevaluate their morals.

5. RGIII needs to learn that he's not in Baylor anymore. And after getting leveled on the sideline in Sunday's game, maybe he'll get the message. These defenders are bigger, faster, stronger and they're playing for money. So next time you see a 280 pound man running at you like a runaway train, do the smart thing and step out of bounds.

Panther Potential

          The Panthers have all the potential in the world. A stable of 3 running backs that would start on damn near every team in the league. An all star wide receiver that is as explosive as any player in the league. An athletic big body tight end that presents a matchup nightmare for linebackers and defensive backs. A defense that has budding stars at the linebacker position and on the defensive line. And it's undeniable that Cam Newton is a star, and will only get better with every passing week. But potential has never won a Super Bowl.
          Cam Newton fumbled a ball today on a run that would have all but sealed victory for the Panthers against a Falcons team that many would agree is one of the best in the NFL. Instead, the Falcons got the ball back (after a punt) and Matt Ryan shot a gaping hole in our very weak secondary with a bomb to Roddy White. The Falcons would eventually score the game-winning field goal and sink the Panthers to 1-3. They have damn near every piece of the puzzle now, it's just like they can't quite figure out how to put them together all at once. It's incredibly frustrating. They did it for the Saints game. They were a well-oiled machine that was pretty much unstoppable. Whenever they manage to put all of those pieces together for an extended period of time, they will be a force to be reckoned with. Hopefully it's sooner rather than later.

Replacement Referees and everything else that happened in week 3

         
          Welcome to the latest episode of "Jackasses dressed as Zebras." The picture above says it all. This is the last straw. The last argument that anyone had, that the replacements hadn't cost anyone a game, is gone. They blew the final call in the Green Bay vs. Seattle game. Yes, a simultaneous catch goes to the offense, BUT THERE WAS NO SIMULTANEOUS CATCH! The only thing Golden Tate caught was the defender! I am appalled by the atrocity that we have been forced to witness. As Rick Reilly said, this game is the Mona Lisa and the replacement officials are painting a mustache on it. The fact is that the replacement officials last night, one of whom was a high school referee in California, changed the outcome of the game last night. I think that Goodell and whoever else is involved in these negotiations should have got up this morning, put on their fancy Italian suits and shoes, hopped in their BMWs and gone to work on negotiating a deal that the referees obviously deserve. I read somewhere that the sides were only separated by as much as $60,000 on some issues. $60,000? After the fines that the NFL will likely levy after this weekends debacle They'll have more than 60 grand in the bank to spend on the referees. This league is the greatest in the world, but there's only so many times you can drive a Ferrari through the mud.

Just in case you didn't get it the first time

         
          OK now that I've gotten that off of my chest, I can move on to what else happened this weekend. The Panthers got demolished, so we're going to try and forget about that as soon as possible. the final three unbeaten teams are the Texans, the Falcons and the Cardinals. Wait, did I just say the Cardinals? That's right, the Cardinals, who have won 11 out of their last 13 regular season games, are now 3-0. Are they the best team in the NFL right now? Hell no, but they're pretty tough to beat in close games. The Patriots are below .500 in week three for the first time in what seems like an eternity thanks to an incredible performance by Torrey Smith less than 24 hours after losing his 19-year-old brother in a motorcycle accident. I said this before, but if that kind of performance doesn't give you some sort of goosebumps then you should check your pulse. The Saints go marching in at a shocking 0-3. The Saints are sharing the basement with the Cleveland Browns, the only other team without a win this season, some pretty bad company.
          The other two undefeated teams deserve every bit of credit they're getting. The Falcons are a serious contender. Their defense is potent, and this could be the year that Matt Ryan elevates his status to be considered a top tier quarterback. Then there are the Texans. Picked by many last season as a Super Bowl favorite out of the AFC, with a star quarterback in Schaub, a great running game with Arian Foster, a freak of nature Andre Johnson at wide receiver and a solid defense, they should be a favorite again this year. Had they not lost Matt Schaub at the end of last season they may have made a deeper run in the playoffs, so if he stays healthy they should be in the picture when the playoffs roll around.
          Barring a player strike against the debacle that the replacement refs have created, I'll be back next week with more insight on the unfolding NFL season.

NFL Week 2: The Panthers and 5 things to know from around the league

          Week two of this NFL season is (almost) in the books, and I have to say that I'm rather impressed with a lot of things. I also have to say that I'm pretty unimpressed by other things, and we'll get to those as well. From this point forward, I'd like to do game analyses for the Panthers while also commenting on five other things from around the league on a weekly basis. Without further ado, welcome to week two.
          Let's begin with the Panthers, who have been both atrocious and outstanding so far this year. Week one couldn't have been more disappointing. Losing to the Buccaneers while amassing only 10 rushing yards was downright embarrassing. Granted, the Buccaneers have proven to be a good team, taking the Giants to the wire yesterday. But come on, 10 rushing yards for a team that has four very capable ball carriers? Pitiful.
           But week two brought redemption for the Cardiac Cats. They beat the Saints 35-27 in a thrilling game where the Panthers steamrolled the defense for more than 200 rushing yards and Williams, Stewart, Tolbert AND Cam all scored TDs. It wasn't just the running game that thrived, as Cam had 253 yards through the air as well, including 104 to the always explosive Steve Smith. With such a perfectly balanced offense, the Panthers present an incredibly difficult matchup for any team. Another key stat, SuperCam had zero interceptions. Last year, the Panthers were undefeated when Cam didn't turn the ball over. I've said repeatedly that he doesn't have to make more hero highlight plays this year for the Panthers to go far, he just needs to make fewer bad decisions and the Panthers will be in the playoff hunt. The offense gets an A-

Cam Newton takes badass pictures

          Despite giving up 27 points, the defense actually played pretty decent. Godfrey made a great play on the pick six (though it was mostly a gift from Brees) and our defense was able to put pressure on Brees for most of the game. The Saints may be without Head Coach Sean Payton, but that offense is damn dangerous, and being able to force Brees into two interceptions and holding him to only 63% completion percentage and one TD is still quite a feat. Bravo defense, B-

"Hey! Don't let those guys hit me again!"

5 Things around the league that caught my eye:

1. Rookie QBs: 5 rookie quarterbacks have been handed the starting position this year, a record, and it has everyone talking. In week one only RGIII was able to come up with a win, and they had more turnovers as a group than total TDs. That was a bit discouraging, but week two provided a different result. 10 total TDs to only one turnover and a combined 3-2 record. It's still way too early to speculate on how the rest of the season will play out, but this is a good sign that it won't be a complete disaster.

2. Has anybody seen Chris Johnson? Titans RB? Mr. 2,000 yard season a couple of years ago? He may as well be on the back of a milk carton, because he is completely absent from the football field. 19 carries for a whopping total of 21 yards. That's twenty-one. He has less yards than his starting QB Jake Locker. He also has less yards than Browns QB Brandon Weeden, Tim Tebow, and the 90-year-old lady in the retirement home down the road. Johnson is on pace to hit the 100 yard mark in week 10. 

"Wait... So I'm supposed to carry the ball forward?"

3. Replacement Referees suck. We want the real ones back. Pay up Goodell, seriously.

4. Eli Manning won yet another game in dramatic come-from-behind fashion. I never thought I would consider him elite, I was too big of a fan of Peyton to admit Eli was elite. But it's true. Eli Manning, despite missing a few chromosomes here and there, is an elite quarterback. Two impressive Super Bowl winning drives and a near 5,000 yard season last year prove it. His 510 yard performance in a win against the Bucs, which also included a game-winning drive, is just further proof. He is undoubtedly the best 4th quarter QB in the game right now.

5. Time for three disappointments. Joe Flacco looked more like Joe Flaccid yesterday when the game was on the line. He has to start winning games in crunch time if he wants people to call him elite. Gostkowski AKA Shankopotamus blew it for the Pats while Vinatieri is still kicking 50 yard game-winners in Indy like it's child's play. And finally the Eagles opponents, who forced them into 9 turnovers in the first two weeks and allowed them to escape with wins both times. I expect Cleveland to blow games like that, but the Ravens? Come on man.

          Lastly I'd like to give a game from next week to look forward to. All of them. If football is on TV it's worth watching. So grab the remote, grab a beer, plop your lazy butt on the couch in front of the biggest TV in your house and enjoy!

Football is Back!

          Friends hear the good news! The days of watching countless hours of mindless television are over. No longer will we be forced to watch golf on Sundays, praying for a magical shot from Tiger. Baseball will not grace my television anymore (especially since the Red Sox just shipped everybody on the roster out the door). Gone are the days of marathons on the Discovery channel watching sharks eat the shit out of little seals. In one week and two days, on Wednesday September 5th it will be official. Football is back.
          And I don't mean this half-assed preseason nonsense, I'm talking about games that actually matter. Games that don't feature John Doe from the local bakery trying to get a roster spot. We're talking about the games with all of the overpaid players on our favorite teams who we love to worship, and all the players on the other teams who we love to hate.
          The day has come when Peyton Manning is once again a starting quarterback, Rex Ryan has yet another cluster in New York, and Cam Newton takes the hopes and dreams of Panther nation on his back as he tries to deliver us to the promised land. Another season begins where 32 teams have a chance. Everyone is undefeated, and nobody has made a mistake. Except Ochocinco, he forgot that marriage is not a contact sport.

          With the season starting, Tim Tebow will now return to the spotlight.. Oh wait that never ended. Well at least he's a starting quarterback now.. wait no he isn't. Hey at least he's not on the punt team.. Oh.. yeah actually he is. I thought I'd never see the day when I actually felt bad for Mark Sanchez, but I stand corrected.

          The new era has been ushered in, both in Washington and Indianapolis. Andrew Luck has the shadow of Peyton Manning to get out of, while RGIII just has to overcome the shadow of the approximately 37 different starting quarterbacks that the Redskins have had since '05. Both will become either saviors or scapegoats in 16 games, and it will all happen before our very eyes.

          An interesting headline on the field not involving world class athletes is the lockout of the refs. Yeah, remember those guys we HATE and spend every Sunday criticizing? While they may suck, their  replacements suck even worse. And hey, at least the real guys know to spot the ball between the hash marks and can face the correct direction when making a call. So please, I'm begging you Ed Hochuli, bring your huge biceps and long winded explanations back. We miss you.
          From the rookies to the refs, from the veterans to the over-the-hill stars who think they still have it (I'm talking to you T.O.), and from every highlight to every bonehead mistake, NFL fans we can rejoice in unison because football is back!

NFL Draft: What did the Panthers do?

          Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first NFL action of the season. Ok, so most of you wouldn't quite call it action, but to football geeks like myself the NFL draft can be quite exciting. The Carolina Panthers had the 9th overall pick in the first round, along with many other picks throughout the draft. Now I won't sit here and pretend that I could foresee who we would pick, nor will I pretend to know everything about everyone we picked, but what I will try to do is give a little insight on who these people are and what kind of contribution they will make to our team next year.
          With the ninth overall pick the Carolina Panthers selected Luke Kuechly (rhymes with "weakly"), an inside linebacker from Boston College. Honestly this one confused me, we already have a solid linebacking corps, with John Beason and Thomas Davis returning from injury, playing alongside James Anderson. We also picked Dan Connor pretty high in a recent draft and he plays inside linebacker as well. So in my opinion we needed a defensive tackle more than we needed a linebacker. However this may be a case where a team picks the best player available regardless of need. Kuechly is certainly a tackling machine, he had 191 tackles in his last season at BC, bringing him to a whopping 532 for his three year career. He won the Bronko Nagurski trophy as the national defensive player of the year, the Butkus award as the nations best linebacker and many other national honors. He's a great football player without a doubt, I just wonder what our motives were when picking him. Here's a video filled with Kuechly chasing people down set to some pump up music.

     
          Amini Silatolu, (pronounced... well I'm not even sure) is a guard out of Midwestern State, and the Panthers selected him with the eighth pick in the second round. Almost 6'4", 311 pounds, he's a big boy. Stats for offensive lineman don't really exist, so I really am just taking a shot in the dark here with this one. There's always room for depth on the offensive line, especially with Jeff Otah being as fragile as a teacup and Jordan Gross constantly getting the most inopportune penalties possible. I've really got nothing more to say, considering offensive lineman aren't really the flashy guys who get all the glory.
          Now it gets interesting. The Panthers pick up two players back-to-back in the fourth round, Frank Alexander, a defensive end out of Oklahoma, and Joe Adams, a wide receiver out of Arkansas. Alexander was the Big 12 defensive player of the year as voted by the Associated Press, and led the Big 12 in tackles  for a loss in his senior season. He is a versatile lineman, not just a pass rusher or a run stuffer. He should be a great addition to our defensive line. Now, here is a pick that I am truly excited about. Joe Adams from Arkansas is a PLAYMAKER (yes these caps are warranted). Check out this video...

     
          ...Now tell me those caps weren't warranted. The kid is a highlight reel. While the Panthers have said that they are happy with Pilares at kick returner, Adams could certainly replace the anemic Armanti Edwards as a punt returner, especially since he was the SEC special teams player of the year after returning four punts for touchdowns. He will also be a nice addition to our receiving corps, which already boasts the explosive Steve Smith and the upstart Brandon Lafell, along with Greg Olsen at tight end. This offensive is certainly not short on talent anymore.
          Our last three picks are no doubt names that won't really ring a bell, so I'll run through these rather quickly. Fifth round pick Josh Norman is a cornerback from Coastal Carolina. He will  add depth to our secondary, and he had two interceptions last year. His sophomore year he had eight interceptions, which shows that he is capable of making plays on the ball. He also had 138 career tackles in four years, so he isn't just a cover corner. Brad Nortman was the Panthers pick in the sixth round. The punter out of Wisconsin was honorable mention on the all Big Ten team, and had a career average of 42.1 yards per punt (which is pretty good). He's a punter, that's about all there is to say. Finally we have D.J. Campbell, safety out of California. The Panthers seventh round pick, a fifth year senior, Campbell was a decent college player. Not really someone who made huge plays every game, but he racked up a career high 71 tackles in his senior season. Again, not much else to say other than he will add depth to our secondary, which is always good to have.
          Well that's about it, no huge moves for the Panthers. Just several solid players that should contribute in one way or another, whether it is on the field or on the practice squad. I hope all you Panthers fans are just as excited as I am to see these new players join the Panthers for what is sure to be an exciting 2012 season! This Cam Newton commercial should get you pumped