Monday, August 27, 2012

Football is Back!

          Friends hear the good news! The days of watching countless hours of mindless television are over. No longer will we be forced to watch golf on Sundays, praying for a magical shot from Tiger. Baseball will not grace my television anymore (especially since the Red Sox just shipped everybody on the roster out the door). Gone are the days of marathons on the Discovery channel watching sharks eat the shit out of little seals. In one week and two days, on Wednesday September 5th it will be official. Football is back.
          And I don't mean this half-assed preseason nonsense, I'm talking about games that actually matter. Games that don't feature John Doe from the local bakery trying to get a roster spot. We're talking about the games with all of the overpaid players on our favorite teams who we love to worship, and all the players on the other teams who we love to hate.
          The day has come when Peyton Manning is once again a starting quarterback, Rex Ryan has yet another cluster in New York, and Cam Newton takes the hopes and dreams of Panther nation on his back as he tries to deliver us to the promised land. Another season begins where 32 teams have a chance. Everyone is undefeated, and nobody has made a mistake. Except Ochocinco, he forgot that marriage is not a contact sport.


          With the season starting, Tim Tebow will now return to the spotlight.. Oh wait that never ended. Well at least he's a starting quarterback now.. wait no he isn't. Hey at least he's not on the punt team.. Oh.. yeah actually he is. I thought I'd never see the day when I actually felt bad for Mark Sanchez, but I stand corrected.


          The new era has been ushered in, both in Washington and Indianapolis. Andrew Luck has the shadow of Peyton Manning to get out of, while RGIII just has to overcome the shadow of the approximately 37 different starting quarterbacks that the Redskins have had since '05. Both will become either saviors or scapegoats in 16 games, and it will all happen before our very eyes.


          An interesting headline on the field not involving world class athletes is the lockout of the refs. Yeah, remember those guys we HATE and spend every Sunday criticizing? While they may suck, their  replacements suck even worse. And hey, at least the real guys know to spot the ball between the hash marks and can face the correct direction when making a call. So please, I'm begging you Ed Hochuli, bring your huge biceps and long winded explanations back. We miss you.
          From the rookies to the refs, from the veterans to the over-the-hill stars who think they still have it (I'm talking to you T.O.), and from every highlight to every bonehead mistake, NFL fans we can rejoice in unison because football is back!