I personally had my heart ripped out of my chest with the
mind blowing shocker in the mile-high city. I am unashamed in my support of
Peyton Manning. I firmly believe he’s the greatest quarterback of all time, but
I will also admit that there are plenty of very reasonable arguments for other
signal callers (especially that super model’s husband in New England). I was
devastated to see Manning do everything he needed to win the game, only to have
it ripped from his hands by what could be called the WORST play by a safety in
recent memory. I also firmly believe that John Fox blew the game by being the
most conservative coach EVER. He decided to run the ball three straight times
to try and milk the clock for every second and to leave the Ravens with as
little time as possible. That is absolutely the correct strategy if Jake
Delhomme is your quarterback. But let me do you a favor Fox, and introduce you
to PEYTON MANNING. You know, the bionic man who led your team to 11 straight
wins, holds innumerable records and is quite possibly the man with the highest
football IQ the game has ever seen. But no, good old John Fox put away his man
parts in the fourth quarter and made the cardinal sin in the NFL. He played to
not lose the game. Allow me to quote Mr. Herm Edwards, who once said so
convincingly that “You play to win the game.” Fox apparently missed that day in
NFL coaching class, and instead left it up to Flacco to not come up big. Turns
out Flacco has a rocket launcher for an arm and Jacoby Jones can run kinda
fast. Then John freaking Fox decides that 30+ seconds and two timeouts and
Manning at quarterback isn’t enough time to try anything, so he takes a knee.
The expletives that flew from my mouth at that moment were enough to make a
sailor blush. I’ll paraphrase by saying that Fox has the same genitalia as a
Ken doll. Yes my hero Manning did throw the game away in OT with that bonehead
interception, and ultimately I guess you can blame the loss on him. But if you
did blame him, you’d be wrong.
Flacco's miracle heave (Sorry, best quality I could find)
The Patriots won, despite losing the little engine that
could Woodhead and the “Half man half hulk” who seems to have hit the next
level of the evolutionary chain, known to most simply as Gronk. Any of this
sound familiar to anybody? Because it should. The boys from the North do this all
the damn time. It’s sickening, but admirable. They just win, and as the lovably
loquacious Billy Belichick always says… wait he never has anything to say. This
section is short because there’s nothing unique to say about this game. It’s
January, in the NFL playoffs, Tom Brady and the Pats won. In other news the sky
is blue and the sun rose today.
 |
| This one is for the ladies |
The Atlanta Falcons, the number one seed that nobody thought
was any good. All we heard all week was the team that tied for the best record
in the NFL had no chance. Matt Ryan was a choke artist and the Falcons never
show up in the playoffs. I’ve got news for you, that’s not true anymore. Ryan jumped
all over Seattle, giving his team a 20-point lead early in the game. Then, as
if it was scripted for Hollywood, the Seahawks charged back led by the rookie
quarterback who was “too small to be a pro.” But the Boston College product
known to Atlanta faithful as Matty Ice put that Hollywood finish on hold,
surprising the shit out of everyone by driving his team into field goal range
in the blink of an eye and watched as Matt Bryant silenced all of the Atlanta
critics… for now.
 |
| Falcons got a nice cold glass of Matty Ice |
Then we have the 49ers. What an interesting story, Alex
Smith leads the team to the conference finals last year, and was in the top
five in the NFL in QBR until a little bump on his head changed everything. A
young man named Colin Kaepernick ripped Smith’s job away in about 4.43 seconds,
which happens to be Kaepernick’s 40 yard dash time. But what would the second-year
pro do in his first playoff game? He’d probably fold under the pressure of the
big stage, right? Wrong. He ran for an astonishing 181 yards, an NFL single
game record for a quarterback, and discount double checked Aaron Rodgers and
the Packers all the way back to Green Bay. Can Kaep keep this show rolling?
Only time will tell.
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| Yes it's corny, but oh so true |
I guess I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the Ravens,
who hung around long enough in Denver to pull out a miraculous win. Led by the
future hall of famer Ray Lewis, who is on his farewell tour, the Ravens have
found a way to win. On the football field it is undeniable that Lewis is an
emotional leader, and maybe the greatest middle linebacker in NFL history. Off
the field is another story, but I’ll leave that topic untouched. Joe Flacco has
been one of the most criticized quarterbacks in the NFL for a while now,
because he “doesn’t win big games.” However, Flacco is the only NFL quarterback
to win a playoff game in his first five seasons. The sound of critics being
silenced was apparent on Saturday, as Flacco made throw after throw, hitting
Torrey Smith on repeated deep throws and of course the absolute bomb to Jacoby
Jones to tie the game with only a few ticks on the clock. Then Flacco and the
Ravens took advantage of Manning’s mistake in OT to win the game on a field
goal. All allegiances aside, it was an impressive performance and Flacco
deserves a lot of credit for the win.
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| Apparently this is what "shit luck" looks like |
Sitting here with my fingers on the keyboard I can still
feel every up and down of the emotional roller coaster that these games took me
on. I can only hope that anyone reading this had half of the emotional
excitement that I did watching these games, because it’s my opinion that sports
have the ability to make someone forget about the world we live in. From
kickoff to the final whistle, it can take your mind off of all the trials and
tribulations this crazy ass world puts us through, and I believe that’s pretty
special.
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